Reading some of the things that a few people have pointed out to me recently has made me very sad and embarrassed, for women in general. I have tried to filter out as much of the negativity as I can but sometimes it still sneaks in. And as much as I try not to let it get to me, it’s a very sad testament to women’s behavior.
Generalizations like this — “. . . . the “Women for Tri” board, which is the antithesis of the name. WTC puppets with their own personal agenda and hurting the movement for equality run the board.”
How does anyone make such sweeping generalizations about a group of women who they most likely have never met? I doubt you know anyone of us, and I know you don’t know me or where I come from, where I’ve been, what I’ve done or what I still hope to do. But . . . I don’t agree with you so I must be just an all-around awful person who can be belittled and demeaned both individually and as part of a group on social media.
Why do so many women feel that the only way they can succeed is by putting others down? That the only way they can win is if others lose? The only thing keeping them from success is someone else’s success?
The Women for Tri Board of Advisors makes the “Podium” section of Triathlete Magazine. Very exciting to me, and I’m sure to the rest of the board of advisors, and to the majority of women in the Facebook group (currently just over 3,500 women). Lots of congratulations, but also other groups of women making comments like why didn’t we get a mention? Take the comment away from the specific issues — how would you feel if Athlete A had a feature in Triathlete Magazine (or something like that) and Athlete B posts “Why didn’t I get it?” Just leaves me with a sad and embarrassed feeling about women.
A survey is put out. What’s suggested? Well, first let’s belittle the skills of the creators of the survey, and then suggest that it be filled out multiple times by an individual. Wow. I guess no one felt that “playing fair” would give the response they wanted? Again, just leaves me sad and embarrassed.
I for one knew absolutely ZERO about 50 women for Kona before getting bombarded (and not very nicely) once I was selected as one of the Women for Tri Board of Advisors by IRONMAN and Life Time Fitness. Once I heard about it, I read up on it, did my own research and made my own decision. No one told me what to believe, what to say, how to say it, when to say it or anything else. “Corporate politics” has never been my forte, in fact I have always sucked at it. As most who know me will agree — I tend to say what I feel, when I feel it and how I feel regardless of the consequences. Even more so at this stage of my life. I have nothing to prove, nothing to win and nothing to lose. I’m my own person, I’m very happy with the person that I am, with what I do and with what I feel I still can do.
The Women for Tri initiative has a mission, 50 women for Kona has a mission, lots of other groups also have missions. They are not the same in the specifics. I personally don’t feel that if any one group succeeds that it is somehow tied to the other’s failure. I’ve never operated like that in my life. The more women, hell the more people that I can bring with me on my journey the better as far as I’m concerned.
I could go on and on with so many more examples. Do I single out any one group for discrimination in our Facebook group? Ask the Isagenix people, the Beach Body coaches, the Team Betty people, everyone in the group who has a bike shop or other business and every woman who is racing for a charity and “shared her story”. I’m picking on all of them I guess. What’s funny is that others within the board of advisors wanted much stricter rules and consequences for the Facebook group, I was the one who fought (and won!) to make them softer and more forgiving.
My goal is nothing less than seeing EVERYONE who gives their best accomplish whatever goals they set in life. I know that if I try my best, and if I still fail it’s just because I failed. I do know that the reason I failed isn’t because someone else succeeded.
My feelings towards people I’ve never met in person — I try to remember to have respect for you while we get to know each other. I have even greater respect for someone who may not agree with my feelings and beliefs, but still respects me as a person and I respect them. We are still working together for a common good — making life just a bit better for the next person and that makes my life just a little bit better.
I don’t consider myself a “blogger”, and I may never make this blog public as it will just become fodder for more negativity on social media.
I do have feelings and the constant bombardment wears on me. I know better than to try to debate an attorney, or people who live their life on social media. But, being a Brooklyn girl at heart I also don’t give in to bullying 🙂
Hope you had a great weekend, I know I did!
PS: After keeping this blog post private for over a week I’ve decided to post it publicly. Let the bashing begin.