It’s been the best of days, it’s been the worst of days. Let me look at the best first. Yesterday was my daughter and son-in-law’s first wedding anniversary. There is truly nothing more that a mother wants than to see their children happy. Bryan and I are blessed to spend a lot of time with Mary and Ryan. No life is ever perfect, but it’s a joy to see a young couple who are building a strong future together. This past weekend was another gift — we had a great time at the Mets game on Saturday hanging out with Mary’s new best friend Ronnie Darling followed by Chinatown for dinner and a foot rub. We spent a bonus day together on Sunday lounging by our club’s pool with some sun, lunch and cocktails. I spent Monday at Sloan Kettering, meeting with the dermatologist and the integrative medicine department. Lots of good information, but an overwhelming sense again today of I just don’t want to be doing this. Insurance nonsense, like coverage denied for an eye drop that includes an applicator (which makes it cosmetic) but without the applicator it’s covered. All that’s done is create days of delay in getting my prescription refilled.
More insurance nonsense — I’ve had trouble sleeping since chemo started. Not surprising based on my treatment protocol I’ve been told. And not harmful. Acupuncture could help. MSK has acupuncture practitioners. They are “preferred” providers with my insurance company. My insurance company doesn’t cover acupuncture but does offer a discount on preferred providers. MSK acupuncture practitioners are not included as preferred providers. There are lots of others listed but none connected with Sloan.
I’m feeling a bit pissy about all this tonight. Neuropathy is one of many new side effects I need to be concerned with on the last four rounds of chemo (tomorrow is #4 and final of “AC”). Apparently, Taxol brings a whole different set of issues. My choice is to suffer through ice baths for my hands and feet in spite of my Reynauds to hopefully deter the neuropathy in my hands and feet which will seriously interfere with swimming, biking and running. My plan — I can tolerate a lot of pain if it’s for a purpose. So, I may just have to suffer through the Reynauds (temporary) to prevent the neuropathy.
Another day spent working on cancer-related issues. Another day that I’d rather have spent doing something else. But, to turn it around to the positive I guess I need to be grateful for insurance and all the things in my life that support me on this journey. But, sometimes it just sucks and feels like time better spent doing something else.
Suggestion to my sleep issues. Get offline a few hours before I go to sleep. So, I’m giving myself an 8PM cutoff. Which is now. Check back in tomorrow, after some Honeymoon Ice Cream.