Month: June 2023

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The Moral to This Story . . .

is that no matter how many CT scan, PET scan and MRI reports I’ve read it takes a doctor to fully interpret the results.

I know I’ve said this many times before, and it’s true — I’m usually a pretty positive person. My glass is half full and tomorrow is always another day. But, the cumulative words on my reports on my brain had me in a pretty negative space.

First was the CT report, posted on June 8th. “. . . surrounding hypodensity that is increased when compared to February 2023, a .4 cm increase. Repeat MRI can be obtained for more definitive evaluation and comparison.” And something new — “Chronic right caudate infarction.” Which the nurse practitioner said is a sign of a previous stroke. Dr. Shin orders an MRI and a PET scan to get a better picture. I get a little worried, but we’ve gone down this road before and it has all worked out to be okay. What they see is just previous treatment (one dose of brain radiation) related changes.

MRI scheduled and report posted on Friday. “Findings likely represents post treatment changes / radiation necrosis although some degree of viable tumor cannot be entirely excluded. Close surveillance advised”. I get a lot more worried when the word “tumor” comes back into play.

PET scan scheduled and report posted this morning. “No abnormal FDG uptake in the right posterior medial frontal lobe in site of previously irradiated brain metastasis. Finding likely represented post treatment change”. I didn’t have much time to process this before my call with my doctor.

Telemedicine visit at noon today with my radiation oncologist. “We need all of these reports to be able to get a true picture of what is going on, and that is — you are good”. And the MRI and the PET show no indication of a stroke, and they are more definitive that the CT.

What’s next? In three months I will have another MRI and PET. Skip the CT as that seems to just indicate a need for the other two tests.

It’s been a rocky few weeks. The moral to this story is, I won’t try to interpret my results again. I’ve wondered — Is this my last season on the boat? My chemo oncologist had said a couple of weeks ago “enjoy your summer”. Will I really be able to? Did I waste my money renting a spot for my paddle board at the Shark River Yacht Club? Should I order that replacement helmet? Should I order that Enve Team cycling kit? What’s the sense of trying to get fit again anyway? I’ve already ordered the helmet, ordered the cycling kit, and I’m really trying to get fit. I’m glad I did!

Good news on the first day of summer.

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Never Underestimate the Power of a Kind Word

I don’t like to post when I don’t have answers. And I’m not looking for sympathy while I wait. But, Friday was a tough day. I had my brain CT on Wednesday. I read the report on Thursday when it was posted. And I knew what was next. Some areas of concern in my brain. And something grew. .4 cm. But still grew. Not what they treated but the surrounding area. Maybe treatment related. But still of concern. So now we wait for an MRI to be scheduled. Under anesthesia because I’m claustrophobic. and then waiting for results. So more weeks of worry. I realized on Friday after I saw my doctor that my life may consist of three month increments forever.

What really kicked me in the ass was when I went back and read the CT scan results again after I met with my doctor. I saw something I hadn’t noticed before. And no one mentioned it. I didn’t understand what “Chronic right caudate infarction”meant. So I sent a message and my doctor called me. Apparently at some point I’ve had a stroke. So. 12 Ironmans, 26 marathons and living a fairly healthy lifestyle and this is where I’m at. I guess if I wasn’t I’d be dead by now.

I’m sorry but on Friday I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. I didn’t share how I felt with anyone. I actually cried a bit after I met with my doctor. A kind of “why me” scenario.

And then, some really random messages came in. First up – my dear friend Lizzie sent me this text: “Your ears must have been burning today and last night. Up here in Lake Placid with DMoss and Celeste. …We have been talking so much abt all we learned in our LP trips with you! 🙃

Next I saw a post in our Fxck Cancer Endurance Club group from my friend Marci. “Thank you for turning this runner into a triathlete turned cyclist. I think of you every time I clip in and start riding.”

Then there was Grayden – a 4 year old at our club the other night. I held the door for him and his pregnant mom. He looked up at me and said, from the bottom of his heart, “thank you old lady”. Two days later and I’m still laughing,

So we haven’t solved my stressors but — Lizzie, Diane, Celeste, Marci, Melissa, Ran and Grayden —thank you from the bottom of my heart 😘😘😘. And the moral to my story is, if you have something nice to say to someone then say it. You never know how much it might mean.