I’ve been struggling throughout this second cancer journey, physically and emotionally.
Physically – I hate that I have to take all the medications to combat side effects. My energy level, for me, is low. I can’t just barrel through the day and expect to get everything done. I need to think about what’s a priority and portion out my energy accordingly. I have to consider the health risks in public places and take precautions. I’m just as worried about the common cold or another case of the flu, probably more than I am concerned about c***d. I’m triple vaccinated, not that it seems to matter. My flu vaccine didn’t prevent the flu either! I’m eating healthy and my blood work is carefully monitored. I feel I’m doing my best, in spite of the random “why are you wearing a mask” comments.
Here’s the emotional part. I’m trying to learn to accept help, graciously. My personality makes it much easier to give then to receive.
And this all brings me to the feast pictured above. In the past I’ve sent “grab and go” meals to friends and acquaintances to help out, especially from Karyn and My Kitchen Witch in Monmouth Beach. My friend Elizabeth brought some of these meals to us a few weeks ago and they were a huge help on nights I got home late from treatments or appointments, or was just too tired or disorganized to cook.
I reached out to Karyn to order some more, and wanted to pay for these myself. I got the following message back from Karyn:
“Moira u have changed my life in so many ways. I have a love of sports, ive met so many amazing people and have had amazing adventures that are all priceless and now a partner who shares this with. Let me do this for you❤️”.
And I really had to stop and think about so many of those adventures! And smile. Out riding and seeing a cow …. I mean a fox. And almost getting hit head on by a car. And ocean swims. And rides. And seeing you out and about happy! So I said thank you and accepted.
I can’t say thank you enough to all the friends an family for the thoughts and prayers and treats and thoughtful gifts and favors. Thank you for the cards and flowers and plants and sweets and so much more!
moirahoran 
For me it has been one of the most difficult things to learn as well. Graciously accepting help from others. It feels uncomfortable and foreign and I don’t like it one but. It took me this disastrous year to learn how. I now know when someone offers to help they truly mean it. My dear friend is in a situation where we as a community are coming together for her family and to see the outpouring of love and care to help manage her children and household and it is a beautiful thing to watch. When someone I know needs help but won’t say yes, I now know to force myself upon them like it was done for me and they will be better off because they too might be having a hard time accepting it like I was. So glad to hear you are being cared for so well. Have a wonderful thanksgiving!
MOIRA,
you are so strong still. Loved reading the post from your training partner. I know it’s so hard but accept the love. You give so much to others. Your turn to receive! Grateful for you!